15-love

I was introduced to South African food for the first time last week. I had a date with a man who was 8 years my senior. We'll call him R. R seemed normal and was very quick to his responses which I like. The worse thing is when you like someone and they take forever to respond. Now I have to be honest  that I wasn't attracted to R. Not before the date, not on the date and definitely not after.

Originally we were to meet for a dinner date on a Friday, but he canceled. Then he texted me after midnight to see if I were up. I let that slide though that was a red flag. I went home for Mother's Day and felt bad we still hadn't met so I asked him out for Tuesday.

Tuesday comes and we decide to have dinner at this restaurant named Madiba. The food was phenomenal. It was so delicious. I highly recommend. Anyways, so we meet up and walk over the spot. He kinda has a slouch that I found annoying, but other than that he seemed normal. He looked older too in person and he wasn't very talkative. Over dinner things seemed to pick up and we were having a nice time. He was sweet and was making me laugh. After eating we decided to stroll through Fort Greene Park. The weather was really nice and there were people all around with their dogs and families. We decided to sit on some benches and watch the tennis players. He even did the corny arm over the shoulder. I mean I didn't mind, but I wasn't really attracted to him. There was no spark. He seemed like a very interesting person, but I couldn't see myself making him my lover.

We continued to talk and it seemed like we were both having a good time. He then turned to me and asked if I smelled good. I was kind of caught off guard and nervously said I hope so. He leaned in and started munching on my neck. I giggled out of confusion. I kept thinking huh? Why is he trying to bite me like I'm a piece of meat. Then this n**** had the audacity to turn to me and say: "Come sit on my lap so I can have a better look at you." I was shocked. Literally I had no words. I just immediately started laughing. Politely, I said no thank you. Negro does that shit work on women? Why the hell would I want to sit on your lap?...Then I kid you not he shrugged his shoulders and said: " I wouldn't be a gentleman if I didn't ask". WTFFFFF?!!! How is that being a gentleman? The date quickly ended after that. He proceeded to walk me back to the train and on the way back recited some shitty poetry to me. He texted me the next day saying he had an amazing time..I didn't respond. Do I feel bad? No. He shouldn't have asked me to sit on his lap like he's Santa. No bueno!

Splitting Ks

 I had an interesting, but fun weekend. So I've been seeing this guy for the last few weeks (from OkCupid). To hide his identity I'm going to call him K. Now K is a lovely man. He's tall, intelligent, athletic, funny, handsome and very honest. We see each other a few times a week and he hasn't been shy about his feelings for me. The first date he was telling me that he wanted to shut down his OkCupid account that night and focus solely on us. HOLD IT! Now of course that's what I want to hear. I want a man to be committed, but on the first date? That sounds a little fishy. I've been honest that I'm not ready to be someone's girlfriend, but that I like him and want to continue seeing him.

Things have been going well, but I have to tell him weekly that I'm just not ready for such a commitment. I've encouraged him to date other people. I was honest that I plan on dating others and to my dismay he was not to happy about that. This is 2015 not 1941.

Anyways, so we went to see a movie on Friday night. We caught the midnight show and this negro was snoring beside me. I had to shake him a few times to wake up. SMH. Saturday we went to this club bob Bar in lower Manhattan. Now that club was bangin'. The music was on point. Now the place is very small, but it had all the magical ingredients for a good ass time. We were dancing like it was 1999. And I guess I went down too low, because this boy's pants split. No joke. He had the hugest hole right where his ass was. I felt bad for a second, then I couldn't stop laughing. I let him stay the night because it was so late and he was very respectful and didn't try any funny business.

We hung out a little Sunday morning/afternoon before he headed home. I think it was a successful weekend. I didn't plan on spending the entire weekend with him, but it just played out that way. I really do like him, but I'm new to this dating thing and I want to make sure I'm sure I'm sure I'm sure. You know?

Ducky Steps?

The worse thing about putting yourself into the lion's den public eye to be scrutinized and torn to shreds is completing a profile. I mean there are people who love to talk about themselves non-stop but damn a girl (me) doesn't have the mental energy to make up catchy phrases so men will find me appealing. I'd like to simply state: "Message me if you want. I ain't your mama."

I need to be quiet though. There is this hypocrisy where I find being a woman on a dating site is much easier than being a man. All I have to do is post a cute picture and say some semi-personal/mysterious things and men are very receptive. It doesn't seem to be the same deal for men. Sorry dudes!

So I made up a semi-appealing profile (well I think it's semi-appealing but people keep saying it's so interesting. LIARS!) and to my surprise I immediately started getting messages. Now some were normal hellos, how are you etc. Others were for a lack of a better word fucking weird. Now I admit I did have myself some chuckles, but more often than not I found myself contemplating if women actually respond to some of these men's corny attempts to get our attention?

Another thing if you live in Romania and I'm in the US, thinking I'm a cutie means nothing because nothing is going to happen.

-_________________-  n**** please...

On the line day-tinngggg

Most people would describe we as being shy, wait no most people wouldn't. They would describe me as being the reincarnation of a cartoon character shoved into a tiny body that has an over the top personality? Well actually I don't know how most people would describe me but all I know is that I'm shy. I hide it extremely well. So when I decided to embark on the adventures of dating I didn't expect to be as receptive to it as have been.

Let me start off by saying that this shit is insane. Most dudes who are looking for dates are straight up weirdos or maybe I'm not looking in the right places, but still weirdos. With all the crazy shit that was happening to me I couldn't just sit on a gold mine of wisdom. Thus I've decided to chronicle my "dates" in this blog.

DISCLAIMER: I know how people want to rag and complain if someone says that dudes are weird or that there are no good ones. The argument is always well what about women. Number 1: I don't like vagina; Number 2: This is my experience. If you don't like it then get to steppin'.

Anyways, I know it's a cliche but I started online dating, OKcupid style. Now I feel like it was a good choice all you need to do is weed out the losers. Believe me there are plenty of losers. So let's start pulling the weeds.